Finding Hope

#Hope is a simple four-letter word that carries immense power. It's a force that has given me light in the darkest of tunnels, provide strength in times of adversity, and inspire me to look beyond my current circumstances. It’s my favourite word!

A few years back, when she was just a teenager, our beautiful youngest daughter was critically ill in hospital, fighting for her life with a severe a mental illness.  She spent the best part of 5 years as an in-patient, in several different hospitals, some of which were 30-40 miles away from we live. Many times, we were told, we were going to lose her, and were told to prepare ourselves that she was not going to make it through this illness. A a few times she was within 24hrs of dying.

Also, during time, my eldest daughter was in a toxic marriage. Which finally broke up and ended in divorce. As a result, she suffered with depression, rejection, stress and anxiety, finally ending up moving back home to be with us.

On top of all this, my dad was in and out of hospital with health issues, as were my parents in-law, the company I worked for where making redundancies, and my department was earmarked as ‘at risk’. I had a serious car accident. And the Youth organisation I’d help build up over several years closed because I could no longer run it and there was no one else to step in.

During this time, as you can imagine, the relationship between my wife and I was put under great strain, and eventually the painful events going on around me, exceeded my ability to cope. So, you could say, life during this period was dark, desperate and seemingly without hope. 

However, the power of hope is a remarkable force that can shape our lives and drive us forward, helping us to persevere. And I want to share with you the profound impact that hope give me, and can have on us all individually and society as a whole.

When we have hope, we find a renewed strength that was not there before that helps us to fight on with a renewed determination. Hope is a powerful motivator, whether it's overcoming a personal challenge, pursuing a dream, or striving for a better world. Hope serves as the fuel that keeps us going, even when faced with difficulties. This motivation is what propels us as individuals to make significant strides in our lives and defy the odds.

When I was going through this challenging time, there were many times, when I could take no more. I saw what I thought, was a light at the end of the tunnel. But I wasn’t. It turned out to be to be yet another challenge, that came at me like a freight train coming in the opposite direction. It ran into me, knocking me of my feet and bouldering me over and over again. Pushing me further and further back into this deep dark tunnel that I found myself in. During this time; as a parent, I had, we had feelings of guilt, shame, blame and failure.

I never knew there could be so much pain from the anxiety and the hopelessness I felt, we felt, as a family. Watching one daughter suddenly change so quickly, so negatively, and just fade away. And the other in such pain and misery. We felt hopeless and helpless, not knowing what the future held.

I am not exaggerating when I say; at times I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest and I thought I was going to die. I thought “you’re the father here” - “you’re the parent” – “the adult” – “get a grip, “sort yourself out!”.

As time went on, I sunk deeper and deeper into a black pit of depression. I tried in vain to get myself out. But It felt like the depression and anxiety stood over me like an angry boxer. Who had already knocked me down many, many times, and it would whisper in my ear “don’t you dare try getting up, I will just knock you down again and again and again!” So, in the end, I didn’t - and My hope started to slip away.

Hope is an essential element of resilience. In the face of adversity, hope can be the lifeline that helps us endure and bounce back. It allows us to view challenges as temporary setbacks rather than insurmountable barriers. Hope keeps our spirits high during difficult times, enabling us to see the potential for improvement and growth.

The impact of hope on my mental health was and still is powerful healing and driving force. It can alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety, offering us a positive outlook on life. Hope promotes emotional well-being, as it encourages people to focus on possibilities rather than dwelling on past mistakes or regrets. Cultivating hope can be a powerful tool for maintaining good mental health.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can,  and Wisdom to know the difference.