


Recently, I had the opportunity to give a short talk during a “time to Talk” session at work. It was a wonderful experience, and I wanted to share that conversation here with you.
Have you ever paused to ask yourself, "What emotion or feeling would I like to have all the time?" For many of us, the answer might be "happiness." We often think, "If I could just be happy all the time, life would be perfect." But is that really the case?
Let me share a personal insight. I've come to realise that striving to be happy all the time isn't as fulfilling as it sounds. Happiness is often a fleeting emotion, tied to specific experiences or outcomes. "If I get this job, I'll be happy." "If I buy those new shoes, I'll be happy." But what happens when things don't go as planned? We end up feeling disappointed and unhappy.
Happiness demands an outcome; it's reliant on a result. And the truth is, it's not sustainable to be "always happy." Life is unpredictable, and things don't always go the way we want them to. When we tie our happiness to specific outcomes, we set ourselves up for disappointment.
But there's another emotion that's more enduring and fulfilling: joy. Joy is different from happiness. It's not a response to a particular experience or result. Instead, joy is a constant, a deep-seated feeling that comes from within. It's about finding contentment and peace in the journey, regardless of the ups and downs.
I touched upon this in my blog "Dare to Hope," where I shared a difficult time in my life. During that period, I learned to let go of the desire to be safe and trouble-free. It was then that hope set in, and real healing began. I found peace, joy, love, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
If you're relentlessly pursuing happiness, I'm sorry to say that you might end up feeling let down. But if you seek joy, you'll find a more consistent and fulfilling emotion. Joy is about doing what we were made to do, no matter the circumstances. It's about enjoying life and finding meaning in the everyday moments.
We all have negative thoughts, especially when life gets tough. It's normal. But it's what we do with those thoughts that makes a difference. Negative thinking can lead to a downward spiral, affecting our mental health and overall well-being. But with awareness and self-compassion, we can redirect our thoughts to more positive ones.
There are many effective therapies out there, like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), mindfulness, counselling, and even medication for those experiencing mental health challenges. If you're struggling, please seek help from a professional. I'm also here to offer support and direction if you need it.
So, how can we cultivate joy, even when life is tough? One way is through gratitude. Start by making a list of things you're thankful for—the simple things, like the town you live in, the roof over your head, the friends and family you have, the freedom you enjoy, and the food and water you have easy access to. It's amazing what a simple habit like this can do. Repeat it over and over again – each morning or evening when driving to or from work.
Have you heard of the story of the two wolves?
An old man tells his grandson about a fight going on inside him between two wolves—one evil and one good. The grandson asks, "Which wolf will win?" The old man replies, "The one you feed."
We need to stop feeding the negative wolf and start feeding the positive one with joy, peace, love, hope, and gratitude.
Let's focus on the good in our lives and push the bad to one side. It's not about denying our failures but learning from them and focusing on what we can improve. By doing this, we can cultivate joy and live a more fulfilling life.
We have choices. We can approach life with a positive attitude or a negative, defeated one. If you allow it, today can be a day of change—a day to embrace joy and find meaning in the journey.
If you're struggling with your mental health or finding it hard to cultivate joy, please reach out for help. Talk to a professional, a friend, or a family member. You don't have to go through this alone.
Let's support each other in finding joy and living a more fulfilling life.
NOTE: Graham is available to give talks and training on this subject and others. Please get in touch here: https://www.cedartree-mhw.co.uk/guestspeaker-gf
Thank you for reading this.
Please feel free to add your comments and share.
Graham
#MentalHealth #Wellbeing #Joy #Happiness #PersonalGrowth #Mindfulness #Gratitude #SelfCare #PositiveThinking #MentalHealthAwareness
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