This
blog has been taken from the talk ‘Dare to Hope’ by Graham Foxwell of Cedar
Tree Mental Health and Well-being. It is
used in the Cedar Tree Mental Health Awareness course.
I hope you are all well and keeping safe, we are in strange
times right now, aren’t we? And more so than ever… we need to look after our
Mental health those around us – family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues
and those we are caring for.
Today I'm going to share some thoughts about Mental Health.
But more importantly about HOPE. To give hope to those who are experiencing
poor mental health themselves, or to those who are supporting someone, possibly
a loved one with poor mental health.
This isn't just about ‘other people’ with mental ill-health,
or the loved ones we may be caring for. This is also about YOU! The friend,
parent, carer, or sibling of someone who is experiencing mental ill health -
it’s about YOU, and your Mental Health too! I want you to understand that
looking after your mental health is important too.
We need to look after yourselves, if we are going to be
able to look after anyone else
Imagine you're on an aeroplane, heading off somewhere sunny.
Hmmm that would be great right now wouldn’t it 😎. You're looking forward
to sitting on the beach with your ice-cold drink! You have your 2.4 children
sitting next to you. When the plane suddenly starts to descend, and the air
pressure drops.
What happens next? The oxygen masks drop down.
What do the cabin crew say is the 1st thing you should do?
Put on your own mask, before helping others; before helping your 2.4 children.
Why? Because without it, you are no good to your 2.4
children. Without it, you are going to pass out! No good to anyone! We need to
look after yourselves, if we are going to be able to look after anyone else!
Perhaps you’ve been struggling on for months, years, or even
decades - waiting for someone to pick you up and dust you off and say it’s
going to be ok…! Well, if you are in this place, I can tell you from
experience, there is HOPE
to be found.
When we choose to believe and understand, that the
circumstances we find ourselves in may not change, but we cling to HOPE
; we
start to believe and know and experience life better. We can let go of a desire
to be safe and trouble free, HOPE
sets in and recovery starts.
When we ‘let go’ of the stuff causing us pain - the
emotional, physical, and mental stuff, Our “resilience” expands and hope takes
over! We begin to have, Peace, Joy and Calm in our lives. And love - that may
have faded or been pushed to one side emerges. Including being able to love
yourself. We also experience, patience, kindness and compassion. We feel
secure, composed and in control. We have…….. HOPE
.
So where can we find HOPE
? Well that is different for
everyone. I've taken the word HOPE
and
created an acronym to give you some helpful tools, strategies and coping to
find that HOPE
.
H = Help & Support
This can come from many places and can be either
professional or personal.
We can seek help and support from:
- Friends, family, neighbours and local community.
- Spiritually. Many people, including me, find great support
and comfort from having a strong faith. If this is something you are not
accustomed too, or have been put off in the past, I urge you to explore the
idea.
- Your Doctor/GP. (Also ask about social prescribers and
link workers).
- Your workplace… Talk to your boss / work colleagues. Some
companies have Mental health first aiders who are trained to help, support and
signpost employees who are experiencing poor mental health. (my organisation
Cedar Tree mhw train people in Mental Health First Aid and other mental health
learning). Some companies have an EAP - (Employment Assistance Program) these
can be used to support you and sometimes you family with Mental Health issues.
- Self-help books, Apps, websites. There are 100’s of Mental
Health support Organisations - Samaritans, MIND, CALM, Mates in Mind, Time to
Change, Charlie Waller, Students against Depression, Papyrus, Young Mindsetc.
Stick to reputable organisations.
- Support Groups. There are 100’s of local organisations,
charities, mental health support groups, drop in & well-being centres and
online groups. Again, please only use recognised, well known organisations.
- NHS IAPT/CAMHS/ (Improving Access to Psychological
Therapies) - NHS funded services providing evidence-based psychological
therapies to people with anxiety disorders and depression. These services can
be accessed by anyone, but are primarily for adults. CAMHS are the usual access point for young
people. You can find your local IAPT
service by looking them up on the internet here. Recovery College and Talking therapies may
also be available in your area, do get in touch if you need help finding
support
O = Open yourself up to new ideas
Trying new things
- Learning affects our well-being in lots of positive ways.
- It helps us stay curious and engaged.
- Good for exercising our brains
- It gives us a sense of accomplishment, boosting
self-confidence and resilience.
We can do this by sharing our skills, joining a club,
learning to sing, dance, enjoy art, photography much more. By trying new things
we start to build & create relationships - (according to research - the
most important overall contributor to happiness. People with strong and wide
social groups are happier, healthier and live longer)
Exercising
Why not take up a new sport? Our body and mind
are connected. It is well known, that being active makes us happier, as well as
being good for our physical health. It is also a very good treatment for all
kinds of mental ill-health, from Depression to Anxiety to OCD, and more.
Caring for others
Helping other people is not only good for
them, and a nice thing to do, it also makes us happier and healthier. We can
give our time, ideas and energy, and money. So get out and volunteer - with a
local charity or club!
P = Positivity & Purpose
You can generate positivity in your life through:
Acceptance
We need to accept that recovery is a process
and doesn’t happen quickly. We need to accept we are not perfect. No-one is
perfect, so why should you be? How often do we compare ourselves to others. We
need look at the stuff we are good at and stop dwelling on what we are not or
be grateful for what we have and not what we don’t. Learning to accept
ourselves, warts and all, and being kinder to ourselves when things go wrong
will increase our enjoyment of life, our resilience and our well-being. It is
also good to accept others are not perfect too and to accept them as they are.
Positive emotions
Like joy, gratitude, contentment,
inspiration and pride, are not just great at the time; Research shows that
regularly experiencing positive emotions, creates an 'upward spiral', helping
us to build our resilience. Although we need to be realistic about life's ups
and downs it helps to focus on the good aspects of any situation.
Meaning, purpose and direction
People who have meaning and
purpose in their lives are happier, feel more in control and get more out of
what they do. They also experience less stress, anxiety and depression.
Resilience
All of us have times of stress, loss, failure or
trauma in our lives. But how we respond to these has a big impact on our
well-being. Recent research shows - resilience, like many other life skills,
can be learnt, through therapy, support groups and training.
Let go
Sometimes we need to go of a desire to be safe and
trouble free. Let go of the stuff causing us pain. The emotional, physical, and
mental stuff. And through the letting go, Peace, Joy, Calm and Love take over.
E = Encourage
If you are experiencing poor mental health right now, I
Encourage you to do all of the H.O.P.E.
- I encourage you to Seek Help &
Support
- I encourage you to Open yourself up to new ideas
- I encourage you to
be Positive & find Purpose
- And I Encourage YOU to TALK.
DON'T try and
just 'deal with it' or hold it in, TALK. I promise you; it does help. Maybe not
straight away, as sometimes it takes time, but it will help. You may have to
try different things before it works - you may have already seen a counsellor
and thought, that was rubbish! Well I encourage to try another one….. Why
should the first one we see be the perfect one? Keep trying.
Supporting someone....
If you are supporting someone, who is experiencing mental
health ill health, I encourage you to Listen - Don’t be afraid to just
listen - listening the most powerful tool in helping and supporting someone
experiencing mental health ill health. Don’t try and fix their problems, just
listen and try to understand. Even though everything within us is saying we
should fix this. We can’t. Just Listen!
So, that is H.O.P.E. in a nutshell.
- Seek Help & Support
- Open yourself up to new ideas
- Positive & find Purpose
- Encourage each other
So what is YOUR Hope?
Find your HOPE and cling to it with all of your might. Dare to Hope
We can either can stay in our pit of misery and pain, paralysed by fear - or we can HOPE and experience recovery.
Don’t let the little voice inside tell you you’re not good enough, you’re rubbish, you’ll never make it. It’s not true. You are good enough; you are worth it and you will make it.
And just remember - You might be that HOPE to someone else!
Thank you for reading this blog and I hope you have you have found some HOPE from it. Please look out for future BLOGS and articles from Cedar Tree Mental Health & Well-being. www.cedartree-mhw.co.ulk
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